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Thanks, Chica! can't wait to be the Big Love with you in person.
ReplyGabriela!
I love this post! I love how you refer to the desert and use it as a metaphor for growth. As I am missing the desert right now, I was loving hearing you talk about it!
I love the heat of the desert, it is intense and I have felt the desert to really foster my growth. I have definitely heard people say "I am outa here". I never understood them! My love fore the desert runs deep.
An interesting phenomenon is happening to me on my travels. When it is unpleasant, I am finding myself wanting to say "I am outa here" and I want to run back to the desert.
I am asking myself what is the healthy balance here. I get so uncomfortable, I want to go back to "my place" of comfort. Seeing what you wrote and remembering people say "I'm outa here" (and remembering my reaction to them) I have to look at myself and the places I want to say "I am outa here".
This is powerful. Thank you. I am asking what is true and appropriate for me and my growth. I have definitely been making it through the heat to the monsoons, this usually happens on a daily basis on my travels.
Overall I am so thankful for this experience and the growth.
Also, I want to be the BIG LOVE! I love all you wrote on this subject. Thank you so much. I especially love what you wrote on forgiveness. Forgiving EVERYTHING! This feels powerful.
Thank you so much, you INSPIRE me Gabriela. I appreciate you and thank you for this post.
Love,
Kristen
Thank you big loved one. This is lovely and makes sense on so many levels. A question I have is: what if we're feeling small? I do get that the Big Love exists even in places of sadness, but sometimes there's a perception I have (and others I know also have) that Big Love has to be BIG and WILD and EXPRESSIVE and "off the hook" and exciting and soul-touching…like, say, the big split leap that makes the dancer fly and makes the crowd "ooh" and "ahh." Is it still Big Love if you're just merely stepping over a crack, or even just shuffling? Sometimes, out here, it feels like a lot of pressure to be all lit up and big-eyed and, well, big, period.
Thoughts?
ReplyYou are welcome Big Loved One. I hear ya and feel where you are coming from with your great questions and really appreciate it. It was not at all my intention that "Big" mean or look like WILD, EXPRESSIVE or large in size or appearance. I wonder if feeling "small" comes first from thinking "small". Hummingbird, small creature, Big Love vibration. River stone, leaf, flower, child…all relatively small, all simply being the Big Love. When I feel "small", I am sometimes in a state of judging myself, repressing some voice, thinking "not measuring up", "not good enough". The Big Love is more about being just right, as I am, relaxed into my own skin, even with self doubt, even with sadness or defeat, held in the "Bigger" context, which is The Great Mystery, the Universal love, the circle beyond the line of linear reality. What I am pointing towards is an inner state, a neurological resting point, an "In here", not to be misperceived by an "out there" place. I can be the Big Love in a cave, in my bed sleeping, in the world weeping…no crowd, no "Ta da", or "SEE ME!"… that is not "Big Love", that is inflation. It is more of an allowing of what already is, a natural light. Fruit ripening on a tree in the sun. It can be silent, solitary, is not special. We often hear that God is within us, and the other side of that is that we are within God. We are but a drop in the ocean of the Big Love, yet the Big Love is in every drop. Catch my drift? "Wide eyed?" Apply deer medicine and be loving, gentle, kind in the process of undoing, nonthinking, relaxation into life as it is, being ALIVE in what is. That is the Big Love, being you, right now. Loving you, just as you are, G PS and if you do feel off the hook, excited,flying, leaping, and it is authentic, that is beautiful too, yet only one facet of expressing The Big Love.
ReplyKristen! Hey Globe trotter! Thx for your comment. How wonderful to hear that you are dancing with the fire and staying power of being the Big Love in yourself. It really is an inner place, and only each of us can feel where we are bailing. Whether you continue to travel or come back to Tucson, may your home and "right place" be the relaxing into your beautiful, authentic self, as it is. Don't bail on that. Love her and celebrate her in the highest. In every location. Even if the celebration is an embraceable challenge. And yes, forgive everything. It is a fast track to letting go. May your heart be buoyant, In the Big love, G
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